People say the ‘ultimate goal’ in life is to be happy, that is not correct, being happy is the only way to be. When you were a child it did not take much to be happy, other people made you unhappy, now it does not take much to make you unhappy we look to others to make us happy. This is too much surrender when we look to others, a partner or friend for our happiness and blame others for our unhappiness.
We should be responsible to what happens within us, what happens to others could be difficult to ensure but to oneself, it must be a guarantee. Material things, money, property or lavish life-style will not do, otherwise royalty and great celebrities would be the happiest people in the world.
It is very important to remember that happiness is a state of mind. Your thoughts, not your circumstances determine how you feel. It is our interpretation of circumstances, that determines our level of well-being.
First thing to note is that your thoughts are an accumulation of memories of the past in our lifetimes, every thought is nothing more than a regurgitation of old thoughts with a little twist of current circumstances, we continue to judge our future by what we already know. If you understand the nature of thoughts, you can begin to see beyond them and sense the value in other points of view. We can virtually eliminate unprofitable arguments in our lives and eliminate feeling resentful, confused, or angry at others who do not see things our way. When we understand the nature of our thoughts, we will not expect others to see things our way, in fact, we will not care what others think because we will know their thoughts do not define us or make us, we define and mould ourselves from our thoughts of who or what we think we are, so be kind to yourself.
It is sometimes said that if we can control our moods we will be happier, this is correct in as far as we should look to ourselves for that control, the problem is we have a tendency to transport the control to external objects and entities for that peace. Sitting by a calm lake or river is thought to induce peace within but the risk is that it only takes a little pebble to disturb that peace!
Others have exported the ‘peace’ to heaven and can only be heaven or god given, the problem with this is that to bring it back to you from heaven you encounter a lot of red tape! You are required to go through a priest/rabbi /pastor/ imam, pay a tithe, pray so many times a day, do yoga, eat certain foods/fast and in a certain manner, wash, dress, grow or shave hair, sacrifice bodily needs/family, take retreats, take medicine, sleep or stay awake, a whole load of instructions, expectations and requirements before you could get ‘peace’. In this manner we will not know peace, we will only find peace and lasting peace, when we die then it’s ‘RIP’.
Peace is just our word of pleasantness within and around us. When we feel well, we say we are happy, when life is sailing just the way you like, we feel all is well and we are happy. When those around us are well and treat us well we say life is good because there is pleasantness around us. But what we must also recognise is that when we say pleasantness we mean pleasantness according to our own interpretation and how it affects us, if pleasantness is happening in other peoples’ lives and not in our life, we say we are happy for them but that does not feel as pleasantness to us, it has to be in our life! So it must first start with us to be pleasant.
The pleasantness must be within and we define the inner pleasant in various ways, If your body feels pleasant, we call this good health. If it becomes very pleasant, we call this pleasure. If your mind becomes pleasant, we call this peace. If it becomes very pleasant, we call this joy. If your emotions become pleasant, we call this love. If they become very pleasant, we call this compassion. If your life energies become pleasant, we call this bliss. If they become very pleasant, we call this ecstasy. This is what makes a joyful peaceful life and we will seek this knowingly or ignorantly and getting one form of them will not satisfy us, they must come in unison otherwise our quest continues for both within and around us.
To start with, we must have gratitude, train yourself to look around you and recognise goodness around you and take time to feel good about it, ‘gratitude’. Instead of remembering the bad done to you think, of all the good done to you by others. Positive thoughts always have the effect of making us happy. The past cannot be erased so why look back at the negative memories.
When you are feeling positive everything looks and feel good and you do good to others. If you are feeling sad, down, negative, all will look depressing and you in return will not be a good person to be around as there will be no pleasantness in you to others. Now medical and science prove that your body and mind function at their best when you are in a pleasant state. It is said that if you can remain blissful for twenty-four hours, your intellectual capabilities can be almost doubled. Just settling the internal and allowing clarity to surface, you can achieve this.
“Happiness is not out there, it’s in you.” Make the most of every moment because life can change in an instant. While the present moment may be uncomfortable, it is the only one that is guaranteed. Look beyond the present problem and find the moments that are worth enjoying and then savour each one. Sometimes the problem is not as big as we make it, remember a past problem and now how you see it
The way to peace may vary from person to person. But whether you are after making money, curving out a career, being a good person in pursuit of a good after life, hitting the bottle, taking pills for one reason or a variety of reasons, pleasantness is the only goal. You are searching for pleasantness. The only thing that stands between you and your well-being is a simple fact, you have allowed your thoughts and emotions to take instruction from the outside rather than the inside, and for this you break you back chasing everything outside hoping and thinking it will settle your within. Please remember the words of Apple co-founder and billionaire Steve Jobs in his deathbed:
“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer …
Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth.
Should be something that is more important: Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days, Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth. The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me. What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love. That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.
Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands. What is the most expensive bed in the world? Sick bed …
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.
Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost — Life.
When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading — Book of Healthy Life.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”
Remember all that we gather will be of no consequence. The only thing that matters is what we make out of this life and experiences within us. When you are after ‘life’, you will find that neither desire nor attachments are of any consequence to you. You will know there is no time for anger or hatred, regret or disappointment. Once you realise the precious nature of your one and only existence, to be pleasant, to be loving, to be joyful, to be blissful, to be peaceful will be your only natural outcome.